More than 50% of my section of the DA's office are guys. And though we all hail from various parts of the country (Philly, NYC, Denver, LA, Buffalo, Boston, Chicago) there is one thing that can unite us. And really, it doesn't matter where you are from, it can unite guys (and girls to some extent) pretty much anywhere in the office (drinking normally does this, but in the office that gets risky...but more about that in another post).

I am speaking, of course, about sports trash talking.

Baseball season ended not too long ago. But from when I started here in late July until the end of October not a single day went past without some form of baseball news, taunting, speculation, analysis, etc. Now, these were benign for the most part, mere discussions about a team or certain player's prospects but on days when our respective clubs would play, shenanigans ensued.

I am a Phillies fan, during baseball season I bleed pinstripe red and white, I would happily sell my best friend into a year of indentured servitude for a World Series Championship. There are multiple Mets fans in the office. Fans of any Philadelphia sports team have a certain reputation for being...we'll say spirited more so than the average enthusiast. Naturally, being the only Phillies fan i felt the need to compensate by also being loud enough to counteract the disparity in numbers.

One of my boss' boss is a huge Mets fan, lives and dies at Shea. Soon after I started my tenure at the DA's office, the Phillies and the Mets had a series. The Phillies took game one, I let him know I was pleased about it. The Phillies eked out game two, I chalked it up to luck and let him think that I wasn't gonna give him a hard time about it. Inside I was hoping and praying for...the Phillies took game 3 and swept the division leading Mets. I got to work early the next day and took the broom that had been sitting in my cubical since before I even starting working and proceeded to print out a Phillies logo (taped to the top of broom handle) and a Mets logo, placed under the broom, and left this on his chair. That was the last time he used my name. Since then he has referred to me as "the INSERT WHATEVER PHILADELPHIA TEAM IS PLAYING THIS SEASON fan". It was "the Phillies fan", then "the Eagles fan", now normally its "the Flyers fan". He hasn't said my name in so long that I truly believe he has forgotten it and is very thankful that I respond to whatever he shouts.

That was just one story, here are some notable clips from the office:

One Yankee fan brings in a giant Yankees logo and prints out a Mets logo. He then positions the two in such a way that the Mets logo is completely within the shadow of the Yankees logo.

I printed out a rap sheet for Darryl Strawberry and taped it to all the Mets fans' doors.

One of the ADAs wore a Josh Beckett jersey over his suit to close right after the world series victory. He was held in contempt of court for 2 hours due to his refusal to remove it.

After the Phillies were swept by the Rockies in the first round of the playoffs, one of the ADAs took one of those "What To Do In Case You Or Someone Around You Is Choking" signs and thumb tacked it in my office with a note that inquired as to whether anyone would be performing the Heimlich on the Phillies.

I printed out a bunch of pictures of Steve Phillips and labeled them all "GM of the Millennium" and strategically hid them where they would be found over the course of time by the Mets fans.

There are many more, and we haven't even begun to talk about the Giants, Eagles, Jets, Vikings, Bears, Dolphins, Broncos trash talking. But I'm being summoned so that will have to wait.