New DWI quote of the week

Just minutes after the Shakespearean DWI oration below this case was put on my desk. This is how the night played out for our defendant:

10:30: arrived at the club.

10:30 - 2:30: chillin up in the club, bottle full of bub.

2:30: kicked out of club for pulling out marijuana and smoking in the middle of the club.

2:32: threatened to go to car and get gun and shoot bouncer for getting kicked out of club, denial of any wrongdoing.

2:34: instructed by bouncer to take a cab home, told specifically not to drive.

3:00: attempted to gain reentry into the club, cab called by the bouncers, but not used.

3:15: sent cab home, started another fight with bouncer, got in car

3:15: bouncers call cops

3:25: cops arrive on scene, def still in car unable to figure out how to turn it on.

3:30: cops instruct def to take cab home. def impolitely declines.

3:31: as cops walk over to talk to bouncer, def manages to get car started and pulls out of parking lot.

3:32: police pull over defendant.

3:35: def refused to blow correctly into the field intoxilizer unit, so taken to precinct.

4:15 def blows .214 at the precinct. Arresting officer states, "Sir, we told you not to drive, you did anyway, now we have to arrest you" reads Miranda rights. Def responds "Officers, in my opinion I am not drunk, at least not too drunk to drive. I called my girlfriend and she wouldn't come get me. I called a cab. I'm not drunk, I wouldn't drive if I was."

4:16 Arresting officer alerts def to the fact that has blown nearly 3 times the legal limit for intoxication, to which the def replies "You'll pay for this because God doesn't like ugly people. Go suck your mother while she's on the clot. I didn't fail no fucking blow test. You're only doing this because I'm black, you racist white bitch. You white devil."

The officer replies with, "as you can see by the fact that he's standing next to me, my partner is black."

The def comes back with "He's only going along with you because you're his boss and he is afraid."

So there you have it, another innocent clubgoer is a victim of a cruel NYPD conspiracy to harass sober, innocent people. And any sober person would clearly articulate that while still referencing a cops mother on the clot.