Starting Off With A Bang

I am not an ADA, I am a paralegal, unfortunate for me, but fortunate for you. I see hundreds more cases than each individual ADA because I work under 16 of them. Generally they will leave cases on my desk that need work done either after I leave at night or before they leave in the morning.

When I first started working this job it wasn't easy to come in every morning and see a pile on my desk, I realize that a lot of jobs are like this, but I preferred to be handed it bit by bit so that I always felt like I was almost done instead of feeling like I was starting behind. No longer. I have actually started reading the cases.
I was met with this gem this morning...

The defendents are charged with filing a false police report, this is what they did.

Defs 1 & 2 are boyfriend/girlfriend, and the "victim" is the current boyfriend's ex-girlfriend. Def 2 told Def 1 that Def 1's ex had sent her an email outlining the strenuous beating that Def 2 would receive if she were to conceive a child with Def 1. Naturally Def 1 felt that he had to protect his lady and went down to the police station to lodge a formal complaint. He recounted to the Officer On Duty all the violent threats his girlfriend had received through email, gave the officer the email address in question, and returned home and assured his girlfriend that everything would be fine.

Apparently the dilligent officers of that precinct take computer crimes pretty seriously because instead of just taking everything our Def said at face value and arresting the ex for menacing (the charges that would likely occur), they actually did some police work. It took all of one phone call to yahoo to discover that the email address in question was created that very day and to what IP address it was registered. One more quick phone call to verizon alerted them to the fact that the IP address was the Def's very own computer. The Officer On Duty was very confused about this and decided to head down to the boyfriend/girlfriend's residence to settle things (in actuality it was the mother of the boy's residence, he was living with his mother, and his girlfriend...awkward).

So when the police arrived, Def 2 is a bit confused but Def 1 is petrified and bolts, he is quickly apprehended and taken to the station where he breaks down and confesses that he did, in fact, create the email address and send an email to Def 2 but it was Def 2's idea. Def 2, he claimed, hated his ex and wanted to get her in trouble so she convinced him to do this and report it.
Naturally, Def 2 denied any and all knowledge of this.

Meanwhile (and this is really the best part), the "victim" here, instead of being outraged that she's been drawn into this debacle (which i feel would be a pretty standard response), she has chosen to view this as a way for Def 1 to try to get her attention because he really does miss her and they're destined to be together (the last time they met they apparently had a screaming match at the local grocery store whey they both indicated that they hoped they never spoke again). I wish them the best.

Def 1 & 2's relationship is currently on the rocks.

Conclusion: this guy is either an absolute girl-switching genius or just beyond stupid. I'm no Hercule Poirot but I just cannot fathom that he saw these events unfold beforehand. If, in fact, he did not do this to try to reach out to his long lost love (which seems unlikely in my book) then why the hell did any of this happen? This seems to be a totally random crime. Admittedly, none of us on the outside really know the intricate details of what transpired to set these events in motion, but from what I'm reading on my synopsis sheet, it looks basically like this guy created an email address, sent a threatening email to his own girlfriend, signed his ex's name, reported it to the cops, was discovered, tried to run God knows where, tried to shift the blame, and is now facing a pretty sizeable fine which I'm sure he'll try to get his ex to split with him. Wouldn't be surprised to see this guys name on another file coming through here real soon.

And this was just the first case put on my desk today. More to come.