People You Meet While Working for the Government: #1 The Spaz

I'm going to start with the spaz, not because this type is the most common, or the most annoying, or any other reason except that I saw my favorite spaz this morning and he inspired me to start this whole chain. So L'Chaim sir, thanks for the idea.

The spaz is one of the more fun groups to observe. Interactions can get frustrating, but don't have to be. The easiest way to spot a spaz from afar is to watch them walk. They have extremely exaggerated limb movement. When they walk arms shoot up, down, side to side, diagonally, they don't even notice. Their heads have a tendency to bob, they have trouble walking straight lines because they just kinda shoot their legs forward and lean, wherever their body weight lands in front of them is their next step. They are also always walking fast, whether or not they are in a rush. My favorite spaz (I don't even know this guy's name, but I see him very frequently between the DA's Office, the Courthouse, and the roads in between) is also a smoker. This adds another hilarious element to his gait. There are times his arms are flailing to haphazardly that he cannot even manage to get his cigarette back to his mouth. The spaz is constantly wide-eyed also. Taking in everything at once and simultaneously responding to everything at once, hence their doing 14 bajillion things at the same time and it translating into them just being all over.

The spaz has a terribly short attention span and will probably be visibly disinterested in what you have to say before your sentence is even over. They constantly talk in short sentences also so they don't lose track of their thoughts. Additionally, they always have something they were meaning to tell you. But they can never remember what exactly it was, but they want you to wait until they think of it. Luckily for you, this escapes them after a couple seconds, they move on to something else, and you are free to go.

You can never really tell if they are looking at you, behind you, or through you.

The spaz has some of the same characteristics of someone who is very manic, except instead of it being purely mental, its physical (it has elements of both, but the trademarks of the spaz are physical).

The spaz is very frequently a pleasant person, and lots of fun to be around. They are high energy, and great for a group of people because their thoughts change so frequently that they keep conversations going. They are a constant source of entertainment because they have trouble sitting still. They tap their foot, or shift their weight, or pace, anything to expend more energy. I don't know where it all comes from, but there have been many occasions where I wished I could siphon some off from them.

My "zone" (zones were covered earlier, if you missed them read back a few posts and get a quick overview) is a little light on the spaz, but the Courthouse has quite a few, as do a couple of the other zones. While I do wish we had a few more, too many of them together gets overwhelming quickly.