They're not easy to spot from afar, but are easily identifiable enough after their first sentence. They don't know how to talk about anything other than the following topics:
- how terrible the plight of the city is right now
- how much they look forward to really "getting their hands dirty"
- how fulfilling their job is
- how they want to save the poor victims of crime from the trauma of their predicament
- how they get frustrated that some people they work with don't seem to be as dedicated to their job
The Idealist will take any case offered.
Let me explain briefly how cases are assigned. The Deputy Bureau Chief, "my boss", gets a stack of files every morning that are either transfers to the zone or new arraignments, he then opens the file, reads about the case, determines the degree of difficulty associated with it, weighs who has the experience, ability, and intelligence to handle the case against how heavy everyone's caseload is, also considering the extra time which will be needed should the case have DWI paperwork, a ballistics report, or lab report for narcotics. He also considers how cooperative the complainant or the victim is, their relationship to the defendant, and the likelihood of them being completely honest, or available. After that, he throws darts at his dartboard and depending what number he hits he assigns the case to the person associated with the number. Occasionally, when a case is going to be especially annoying, maybe the complaining witness isn't reliable because they're a defendant in another case, or they've disappeared, or 6 people were arrested and had 3 joints between them but no one is claiming them, or the victim decides all of a sudden he doesn't want to press charges, etc. the Deputy will ask people to be honest and tell him whether or not they can handle getting a terrible, frustrating case that probably will never go anywhere but will require hours of effort regardless. It is these cases where it's good to have the Idealist around.
There could be ten ADAs sitting in the boss' office talking about caseloads or conferencing about what direction to take a case and the Deputy will see that he has a case to assign which is just going to drive whichever ADA gets it absolutely bananas (and not in the fun Gwen Stefani sense), the Idealist will always volunteer. For this, they have short periods of popularity. You might hear "man, I'm so glad ADA Savetheworld is here, otherwise I know I would've gotten that case where the one guy littered on the other guy's lawn, which violated a 3 year order of protection, thus making it a felony, so we can't offer anything less than jail time, try getting a jury to give someone jail time for littering, ADA Savetheworld bailed me outta that debacle".
This popularity is fleeting, as the Idealist will then want to talk to you endlessly about the case, so much so that you feel as though you were assigned it yourself. Interestingly enough, they aren't bothering you because they want you to recognize how much they're doing, or how awesome they are for taking this case so you didn't have to, or even to demonstrate their brilliance by sharing their strategy for winning the case with you. They don't want acknowledgment, glory, or special treatment. What they really want, is your advice, opinion, and any help you're willing to dispense. These people care so much, that they're willing to forgo the unwritten "get as many convictions as you can, look as good as you can, and prove you're better than everyone else" code of the DA's office in order to do what they consider to be more important, helping people. Yeah, I don't get it either.
These people are dangerous, they are true believers. They are an asset in that they can't be bought, bribed, pressured, blackmailed, or scared. They don't let cases get dismissed through laziness or apathy. But they are a liability in that they nag you endlessly, are annoyingly optimistic, are oblivious to your continual efforts to avoid them, and mentally cannot understand why you don't want to conference every case they have at 6:45 at night.
They pour their heart and soul into the everyday grind. Paperwork becomes more than meaningless red tape, it's a method of the system to insure justice is guaranteed to everyone. Each photocopy is one sheet closer to resolution. Each plea is proof that the city is improving.
It's very difficult to pick these people out by sight. They don't wear flashy colors because they don't feel the need to draw attention to themselves. They dress pleasantly mainstream. They have a very average look about them, mostly because they're so focused on their work they don't spend much time worrying about how they look. The exception to this is days when they appear in Court. On those days, they will look especially dapper in an effort to appear put together for a Judge or jury. But their normal mannerisms don't betray them, except for that childish smile always on their face.
Let's discuss the childish smile, because it is their most distinguishable physical feature. The reason they seem to display this smile so frequently is because, to some degree, they are still children. Do you remember being young? Remember when you used to capture spiders and let them go outside rather than squish them? Remember when you used to bring stray animals in the house and ask mommy and daddy if you could keep them because they look so sad and alone? Remember when you couldn't understand how people could kill each other over money? Remember when merely being content with what you had was good enough, you didn't need anything else? Remember Knight Rider? No? Me neither. Because we grew out of this phase of our lives by the time we were about 5. Then we started taking little Oscar Henderson's lunch money because we learned we could get 2 PB & Js instead of one and all it cost him was his lunch. The Idealist never got to where we were at 5. Physically, they grew up along with us, but mentally they're stuck in 1980 (NOTE: the year will change depending on their birthday). They see things in black and white, right and wrong, moral and immoral in every situation. They think they can fix everything if people will just listen to them. They're convinced the answer to society's problem is laughter, probably mixed with fairy dust and happy thoughts. The most puzzling thing about them is how they can grow up in this world, with so much anger, hatred, war, etc. go to high school, college, and law school, get a job with the DA's office, spend their days reading about the most atrocious acts imaginable, and still believe that a little bit of love and understanding will make all the bad people turn good again. Oh, to be 5 again.
Don't ever bother complaining to these people because they will always try to convince you to look at the upside.
Man, I can't believe that my wife is divorcing me, my kid just got rabies from the neighbors dog, I broke my right arm and leg by getting hit by a car yesterday, I'm about 30 minutes from getting fired because my star witness lied and said I coerced her into testifying, the mafia is sending me death threats on a daily basis, the electric company shut my power off three days ago by accident thinking I was someone else who hasn't paid their bill in 4 months, and I spilled coffee on my laptop this morning and now it won't turn on. It just hasn't been my week.
But hey, at least the subway was on time this morning. Stay positive, buddy, things have a way of working out.
These people gravitate towards teaching jobs, lawyer jobs, and medical jobs. They constantly pray to St. Jude. Oh, and they're half dead inside from the loneliness associated with the fact that the only people that can tolerate their bright-eyed and bushy-tailed attitude 24/7 are other Idealists, and they even get on each others nerves. So as happy as these people always are, you can take solace in your depression because at least people don't breathe a sigh of relief when you walk by their office but don't stop in.
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