People You Meet While Working for the Government: An Introduction

I am constantly reminded of the various types of insanity that working for the government provides. But none of the quirks of this job compare with the sheer variety of people that I am forced to interact with on a daily basis. As many blogs have a general theme and then smaller, ongoing subcategories within them, I will endeavor to do the same. Every once in a while, when I feel so inclined, I will describe to the best of my ability, the types of people you can expect to meet at your average government job. With the exception of a select few, every type of person i meet with here has some sort of derangement/deformity/persistent and obvious psychological ailment/etc.

I make no promises as to the regularity of these posts. I will try to do them when I get ideas fresh in my mind. I figured this was a good time to start because it's the holiday season, and most people here have checked out for the year, so I am not being given a stifling amount of work to do. Which means I have time to sit in my little cubicle and think of think of ways to characterize the zoo I work in.

Even though there's no real need to explain myself because I'm fairly certain that nobody reads this (and in reality I only keep writing to to retain my sanity, and so maybe one day I can revisit this and laugh at some of the absurdity that this seemingly-serious profession is inundated with), I guess I'll do a little in the explanation department. There are some people I have noticed here who are so off the wall, so egregiously out of their minds, that they are in a class all by themselves. In fact, there are a lot of them. I won't really be talking about them (yet... if I get on a roll with this I might graduate to them). But for a certain type of people to make it as a category there must be at least of a couple of people that all have the same irritating/disabling/asinine quality. Which, if you think about it, makes it even scarier.

Now, I am in no way implying that these types of people are specific to government work. I'm sure you can find them in any professional environment at some level (except for a few that I think we have a monopoly on). And vice versa, I'm sure others get lots of fun eccentricities that I've never even seen before to deal with. I'm just saying that if i could fully articulate the behaviours of the people that I see between the DA's office and the Courthouse, you would probably shit your pants.

I could make promises as to the authenticity of everything I'm going to write (and have written already), but as no one reads this but me, I have no reason to lie. Also, most of this stuff I couldn't make up if I wanted to. Oh hell, I'll promise anyway. I promise that I write the truth. Are you happy? Of course you are.

And with that, let the parade begin...